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Jaed Hardly
}}Jaed Hardly is one of the humans pulled into the Sburb session. She uses the chumhandle garbageGothic when chatting on Pesterchum. In contrast to Homestuck, Jaed is apparently not ''a Sburb player, and appears to have just found her way into the Sburb session. '''Biography' Childhood Jaed was initially raised by her Grandpather, who was genetically her father through ectobiology, but he probably died or something. At her creation, she was given/took a knitted bunny, along with four exotic weapons: the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, the Quills of Echidna, the Royal Deringer, and Ahab's Crosshairs. (Note: These weapons did not show up in coallesce, which may mean she left them in the Veil. If so, they must have found some other way back.) At some point she befriended Jhon, Roze, Dabe, and Hecka Jef. Presumably grandpather is the one who translated the ruins in the froge temple to create the Sburb game. Jaed apparently took little interest in this though, assuming he was just "mastorbating or some thing". Pre-Entry Jaed slept in her garden when she was pestered by Rose, who offered to play Sburb with her. Jaed did not know what this was, and upon hearing that meteors were falling, immediately ran to hide in the froge temple. Beq teleported her inside, and she used one of the transporalizers for Prostit at the bottom of its elevator shaft to enter the session. Entry Having arrived on Prostit, Jaed sneaked into Hecka Jef's dreamroom to shave her legs over his face. He woke up and she ran away, once again being teleported by Beq to the Whyte Quen's throne room. Beq teleported the Whyte Quen to the edge of the Inpiscispere, and Jaed took over as the ruler of Prostit. As Qwen of Prostit, Jaed ordered all citizens to wear fur. She then contacted Rose to flirt and invite her to her new kingdom. Rose sarcastically considered it, which Jaed took as a victory she taunted Jhon with. Later Jaed spoted dream Hecka Jef again, who refused to wear fur, and had him imprisoned. Rubs Juice then crashed into her palace and put her to rest. In an alternate, doomed timeline, Beq teleported Dabe's corpse to Jaed. To release her anger, she used the red miles to destroy all of Prostit. She was then killed by PM, who was then crushed by RJ's ship, who was then killed by a falling tower, as the rest of Prostit crashed into the battlefield. While Jaed sleeps, her life is put in danger by Fresh Dark Germy³sprite, leading Beq to teleport her first to LOLAF, and then to LODAD while Beq fought FDG3. After the battle, during which Beq died, Rubs Juice carried Jaed off somewhere. Personality and Traits Jaed is a hardcore furry, even from the moment she was created. She's entirely comfortable making out with her dog, although she would only have s*x with people in dog suits, including Rose, despite how hot she is. Like Jhon, Jaed seems to suffer from serious anger management issues, being perfectly willing to kill off an entire planet, paralleling and surpassing Jhon's own murder of Swet Bro. Trivia * When Rose offered to play Sburb with Jaed, she seemed to have not heard of it. This parallels Jade's own ignorance in Homestuck. However, she dismissed that as part of her sleep ramblings, and in CaNWC she was decidedly awake at the time. Not to mention she does not have a dreamself in the first place. Category:Humans Category:CaNWC Protagonists/Allies Category:Characters